My brother Elian, 31, has three kids with three women and recently announced another on the way. He’s always asking me for money, and I’m drained—financially and emotionally. Frustrated, I told him to get a vasectomy. In a sandwich shop parking lot, he confessed he’s “trying to make up for something I can’t fix.” He revealed a college girlfriend, Ayda, had a miscarriage after their breakup, and he’s carried guilt ever since, thinking his stress caused it. He’s been trying to “balance” it by being a better dad now.
I was stunned but saw his pain. Still, I stopped enabling him. When he asked to crash with me, I said no. He got angry, but weeks later, a car accident landed him in the hospital. There, he admitted he was heading to a job interview. Post-recovery, he got a steady warehouse job, paid child support consistently, and started night classes. He even scheduled a vasectomy. A year later, Ayda reached out, glad he was doing better. Elian’s not perfect, but he’s present for his kids, tutoring on weekends. Breaking cycles isn’t loud—just small, brave choices. Love sometimes means letting someone fall so they can stand up stronger.
