Money and family can blur boundaries fast. Guilt, pressure, and “you owe us” can turn love into obligation—and leave people feeling used.
Fen’s letter:
Hi Bright Side,
I always believed helping family was the right thing. I paid my own rent, bills, loans—and whenever my parents were short, I sent money.
I thought it was normal.
Once my aunt called me a blessing. My mom laughed and said, “We didn’t raise him for free.”
It hit me hard.
So I stopped sending money.
They exploded—yelling, guilt trips, nonstop messages. Then two days later, a package arrived.
Inside was an itemized bill.
Food. Clothes. School. Everything they spent raising me. They wanted repayment.
I just stared at it.
I feel less like a son and more like an ATM. I’m angry, confused, and hurt.
Am I overreacting? How do you respond when your parents charge you for existing?
—Fen
Our thoughts:
Parents are responsible for raising their children. Love shouldn’t come with invoices.
You’re allowed to set limits. A simple, calm “I can’t help financially” is enough. Distance can be protection, not punishment.
And please, talk to someone outside the family—a friend, a counselor—anyone who can remind you this isn’t normal.
Healthy relationships are built on care, not debt.
