I Was Left Out of the Vacation for Saying No to Babysitting—What I Did Next Shocked My DIL

My name is Joyce. I’m a 68-year-old retired widow, and this September my son invited me to join his family on a 10-day trip to Italy. I was thrilled. I imagined sightseeing, shared meals, and making memories together.

That excitement faded quickly when my daughter-in-law made her expectations clear: she wanted me to stay at the hotel and babysit their three children—ages 7, 5, and 2—the entire trip.

I told her plainly, “I’m not a daycare. I want to explore Italy, not be stuck in a hotel room.”
Her response was sharp: “Then don’t come. I’ll hire a nanny.”

That night, I made a quiet decision.

Without telling anyone, I booked my own seat on the same flight and reserved my own hotel room. I wasn’t being petty—I simply wanted to make one thing clear: I don’t owe anyone my time or labor. Even on a modest budget, I can take myself on vacation.

When I later revealed my plans, my daughter-in-law froze. My son tried to smooth things over, insisting that as a grandmother, babysitting was “expected.”

I didn’t argue. I didn’t explain. I just walked away.

I plan to enjoy Italy on my own terms, peacefully and respectfully. I love my grandchildren—but I’m also a whole person, deserving of rest, joy, and adventure.

So I wonder: am I wrong for choosing myself this time?