I went on a date a friend set me up on, and at first, it felt straight out of a rom-com.
He showed up with real roses. Opened doors. Pulled out my chair. Looked at me when I talked. Dinner was easy, fun, effortless—the kind of date that makes you think, Wow, this is rare.
When the check came, I reached for my wallet.
“Absolutely not,” he said, already handing over his card. “A man pays on the first date.”
It felt confident. Old-school. Polite.
I went home smiling, replaying the little moments—the laughter, the walk to my car, the respectful goodnight hug. I honestly thought it was one of the best first dates I’d had.
Then the next morning, his text came.
It started sweet: “Good morning. I had a great time.”
Then it shifted.
He explained his belief in “traditional roles.” That when he pays, it’s an investment. That he expects loyalty, effort, and progress in return. Not immediately—but soon.
That’s when it hit me.
The roses weren’t a gift.
The dinner wasn’t generosity.
It was a down payment.
Suddenly, the charm felt transactional.
I replied honestly: that I don’t believe relationships are earned through money or gestures. We wanted different things.
His response was instant: “Guess chivalry really is dead.”
I didn’t answer.
Because I learned something important that day:
sometimes red flags don’t wave—they smile, open doors, and pay the bill.
And romance without respect isn’t romance at all.
