I’m Ella, 29, and I need outside perspective because I’m still stunned. I’ve been dating Mike for two years, and things felt serious — like engagement serious. So when he said I’d finally meet his parents, I was nervous but excited.
We met at a nice restaurant. I barely said hello before Mike looked at me and said, “Hope you brought your wallet. We’re starving.” I assumed he was joking.
He wasn’t.
His dad stood up and said, “If she’s struggling now, imagine the future.” His mom added that I should “contribute.” Then Mike calmly told me I’d be paying for dinner. It was a “test.”
Apparently, his family has a tradition where the girlfriend pays for everyone to prove she’s not planning to “use” their son. They framed it as independence and modern standards — while Mike didn’t even pretend to reach for his wallet.
I didn’t argue. I paid for my meal only and left.
Now Mike says I’m dramatic and “failed” the test. His parents agree.
I’m trying to process this. Was this a bizarre family ritual or a giant red flag? I can’t imagine joining a family that bonds through financial hazing.
Do I run now, or is this worth one last conversation? Because at the moment, running feels like the only sane option.
