If this story doesn’t make you cry from laughing, let me know and I’ll pray for you.
A couple had been happily married for years. The only problem in their relationship was the husband’s habit of letting out enormous farts every morning the moment he woke up. The sound jolted his wife awake, and the smell made her eyes water and left her gasping for air.
Every day she begged him to stop. “You’re going to make me sick,” she’d say.
He always shrugged. “I can’t help it. It’s natural.”
She warned him he should see a doctor. “One day you’re going to fart your guts out,” she told him.
But the years passed, and nothing changed.
Then came Christmas morning. While preparing the turkey, she looked at the bowl of innards — neck, liver, gizzard, all of it — and suddenly, inspiration struck.
She carried the bowl upstairs. Her husband was fast asleep. Quietly, she pulled back the blankets, stretched the waistband of his underwear, and dumped the turkey guts inside. Then she tiptoed away, barely able to contain her laughter.
A little later, she heard the familiar trumpet blast… followed by a blood-curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps racing to the bathroom.
She collapsed on the floor laughing. After years of torture, she’d finally gotten him back.
About twenty minutes later, he came downstairs, pale and shaken, his underwear stained red.
Trying not to burst, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Honey,” he said, “you were right. All these years you warned me, and I didn’t listen.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well… today it finally happened. I farted my guts out.”
He paused, then added,
“But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers… I think I got most of them back in.”
