Two old ladies were chatting on a patio about their grandchildren.
“I send gifts, cards, and checks to my grandchildren,” complained one, “and they hardly ever visit!”
The other replied, “I send checks too, and they come by all the time.”
“You’re lucky to have more grateful grandchildren,” sighed the first.
“No,” said the second with a smile, “they’re just as ungrateful as yours.”
“Then what’s your secret? Bigger checks?”
The second lady chuckled, “Nope. I just don’t sign mine.”
Later, three old ladies were at the dinner table talking about aging.
The first said, “Sometimes I catch myself holding a jar of mayonnaise in front of the fridge and can’t remember whether to put it away or make a sandwich.”
The second added, “I’ll find myself on the stairs and can’t tell if I was going up or down.”
The third proudly said, “Well, I don’t have those problems—knock on wood.”
She knocked on the table, then looked up, “That must be the door… I’ll get it!”
LOL!
