Raising children is one of life’s greatest yet most demanding roles—and it doesn’t end at 18. Often, parenting becomes even more complex as children enter young adulthood, navigating independence and identity.
Consider a mother with a 21-year-old son living at home while attending community college part-time and working sporadically. Frustrated by his lack of transportation, he demanded she buy him a car—or he’d move in with his father, who had been largely absent.
This posed a deep emotional and financial dilemma. While she wanted to support his growth, the demand felt manipulative and unfair—not representative of a healthy parent‑child relationship rooted in mutual respect and communication.
What can a parent do?
- Set clear boundaries.
Emotional support is vital, but major financial help—like buying a car—isn’t guaranteed. A respectful conversation about expectations, responsibilities, and limits helps define what’s reasonable. - Foster accountability.
Rather than outright refusal, the mother might offer to match his savings or explore financing together. This teaches that independence requires effort, not entitlement. - Stay emotionally connected while firm.
Adult children may still need support—but not necessarily material gifts. Listening, offering guidance, and expressing confidence in their problem‑solving ability often matters more.
If tensions persist, family counseling or mediation can help rebuild trust and improve communication.
Parenting beyond 18 shifts roles—from solving problems for your child to guiding them in solving their own. Sometimes the most loving act is to say “no”—and still stand by them.
